the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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