No stitches, just platelets and will power
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me