do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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