I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
