FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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