YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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