Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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