It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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