Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
please come you make the beer taste better
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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