So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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