no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
