farters have to be the big spoon...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
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5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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