I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
