Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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