Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize