Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
