I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
