I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
accomplished twins. life is a go
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
