what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
