Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
