He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
