Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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