you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
