My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
