It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize