I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
