4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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