So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
