I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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