Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize