Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
