i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.