I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.