piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox