She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
