I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
