We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is my gift to your gina
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
