I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
