dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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