you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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