If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
