What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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