white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
