She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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