I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
