I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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