This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
