Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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