dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
