So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
