Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
