I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The air taste purple.
Randomize