Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to be your penis for a week.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
