Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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