better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
