They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.