"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
