Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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