thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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