I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
