I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
