Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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