tell your sister to shave her snatch
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize